Internship Recap and Wrap-Up

I started on this journey with LA YOGA Magazine as an Editorial Assistant on January 9^th, 2015. I had no idea what was is in store for me, except that I would be researching human trafficking and yoga therapy. I also knew that I was in good hands with Felicia Tomasko, the Editor-in-Chief, who would help me construct the article for the magazine and serve as my mentor for journalism.

On the first day as an intern, I knew that this was going to be enriching and unique experience. Felicia invited me to have lunch in Santa Monica with her and other professionals who discussed films that centered on yogic journeys and spiritual messages. This wasn’t the meeting I had imagined. I imagined Felicia and I having discussing my research and the format of the article. However, because I had the opportunity to meet accomplished people in the yoga community, I gained more connections and, more importantly, an open mind.

Between the months of January and March, I found myself taking part in more unique events with Felicia that would lead to greater opportunities in journalism. For instance, I attended a yoga therapist training at Loyola Marymount University on January 11^th and learned more about what it would take to help survivors of human trafficking heal wounds of psychological, emotional and physical trauma.

Not only did this event help me to better understand a yoga therapist’s perspective, it helped me to better understand why I was even interested in trauma in the first place. As I say in a journal entry on January 15^th, “In December 2012, I was as a barista at Starbucks in downtown Riverside, California, when we were robbed at gunpoint. Luckily, no one was severely hurt …. But the psychological trauma impacted me more than I realized. Unexpected anxiety didn’t ‘bubble-up’ until 2014 when I was sitting in an English classroom discussing the ways trauma affects the subconscious mind in Toni Morrison’s Sula.” I understood why this internship, this research was so important to me as someone who has experienced trauma and found healing through dance and yoga.

I started outlining my article and met with Felicia to figure out how this piece should be constructed. In addition to this article, she gave me the opportunity of writing a 200-word book review for the March issue. She loaned me Richard Miller’s The iRest Program for Healing PTSD to write about. Reading his guidebook for victims of PTSD was not only necessary for writing the book review, it was helpful for writing the human trafficking and yoga therapy article. I even interviewed Richard over the phone, and learned that he helps women survivors of sexual exploitation through iRest (Integrative Restoration).

Felicia also introduced me to two organizations that help victims of human trafficking and prostitution: Unlikely Heroes and UpRising Yoga. Unlikely Heroes, founded by Erica Greve, rescues children in the Philippines, Mexico and Thailand from captivity and sexual slavery, providing them with shelter and an education. I was able to interview Erica and her Program Director over the phone to include their story in the article. UpRising Yoga has slightly different goals, because they provide yoga to incarcerated youth in Los Angeles. On February 22^nd, I attended a teacher training led by founder Jill Ippolito. This experience in particular helped with the construction of the article, since I learned more about yoga as a form of therapy for more than victims of sexual slavery and PTSD. Yoga is able to change the lives of troubled youth and help steer them down the path to a brighter future.

When Felicia and I got down to writing the article, she brought it to my attention that my piece was missing a very important part: a story about a person. In magazine writing, Felicia taught me that a good article begins by focusing on the story of a survivor. Luckily, I was introduced to D’Lita Miller, a survivor of sexual exploitation. After interviewing her and meeting her at the UpRising Yoga teacher training, I wrote the article using D’Lita’s inspirational story as my focal point to talk about yoga therapy and the modern-day slavery. Felicia helped me construct the piece to come full circle and end with her living a free life.

Being an Editorial Assistant for LA YOGA Magazine gave me a glimpse of what it would be like to work in the journalism field. With the article going to print in the April issue, I saw how long the process of writing quality content takes. The original intention was publishing the article in March, but I needed more time to focus on writing a solid piece that would go in my portfolio as I’m hunting for freelance writing jobs which is the next step after graduating in June. I have also been accepted into Northeastern University’s Master’s program in Journalism, so I’m starting to look around for freelance writing positions in Boston. Because I took part in this internship, I feel confident about landing a job in editorial, writing and publication.

Joan of Arc Armor

Journal No. 12

Today, I internalized the stories of trauma I heard about at UpRising Yoga teacher training without emotional or psychological armor. Their raw and honest stories of incarceration and human trafficking flooded the forefront of my mind. I was speaking to my mom about the event and suddenly began crying. I couldn’t figure out how to turn off the waterworks and get to work without looking like a total wreck. She lovingly guided me towards personal detachment, despite my habit of constantly reflecting on what I had heard as I went about my shift at the restaurant.

Yesterday, I listened to the story of a 19-year old girl who said she was one of the youth instructed to do yoga while in jail. “Doing yoga,” she said, “was one of the only things I had done right in my life.” Both parents in jail. I don’t know the rest of her story. But being close to her age, I reflected on my own parents and my own childhood. Her story literally hit home.

I saw the redevelopment of an impoverished community in Wilmington, California. The people had torn out a vacant parking lot where trash was thrown into, and they built a garden of fruits, vegetables and flowers. Volunteers tend to the garden beds and keep the soil fresh. Every Saturday, a farmer’s market is held here. Whatever produce is leftover is donated back to the community. The value of this project kept Wilmington nourished and unified. I saw my own neighborhood in conjunction with Wilmington, remembering my neighbors who provide our family with fresh oranges from their backyard trees. Another story that reminded me of home, a place that shaped who I am.

Jill Ippolito, Founder of UpRising Yoga, and I standing in front of the community garden.

A beautiful bed of lettuce planted by the community members.

A yoga instructor opened the teacher training with a 15-minute meditation, and through this meditation, I visualized the image of a brown box with a travel tag. This is the “gift” she told us to see. It’s the gift that we possess as well as give back to people. As a journalist, I envision giving the gift of story-telling and news.

Back to this morning and my unanticipated meltdown, my mother helped remind me to build a shield around my heart. She said to me that as a journalist, I need to create some distance between myself and the stories I cover, especially since I’m emotionally invested in issues of gender. My mother made a point that journalists who take on serious projects like these can potentially end up with PTSD from their job. I’m seeking to build an emotional and subconscious armor, some protection against my repressed memories, my most secret thoughts, my dreams.

I don’t believe this guard can be manufactured in a day, in a month or in a year. Maybe I call it my Joan of Arc armor. Whenever I pick up a pen or sit at my laptop with emotional and mental investment, I put on this armor. And if I need to strip off the armor in order to go there — go to that place of truly connecting with another person through journalism, fighting my own demons — I choose to have that option.

It’s risky opening up myself completely and I might not be as functional for awhile afterwards. But I care. I’m human. I am a person who also has a story. Being a journalist doesn’t make me a hero or someone with more authority or power. It doesn’t make me better than anybody else. I am who I choose to be. I am what I give back. Above all, I choose to fight being a victim of my own mind.

Heroes of Our Time

Journal No. 11

For my human trafficking research, I have been directed to an organization called Unlikely Heroes. I just want to share with you a little about what they do, and why you should know about it.

You should know about these statistics they have on their website, because I don’t believe people in the U.S actually understand the gravity of the situation:

27 MILLION PEOPLE

TRAPPED IN SLAVERY TODAY. THIS IS MORE THAN DOUBLE THE NUMBER OF AFRICANS ENSLAVED DURING THE TRANS-ATLANTIC SLAVE TRADE.

$28 BILLION

IS GENERATED FROM COMMERCIAL SEXUAL EXPLOITATION MAKING IT THE 2ND MOST LUCRATIVE CRIME IN THE WORLD.

100,000 CHILDREN

ARE PROSTITUTED IN THE U.S. PER YEAR.

How can we change these numbers? How can ordinary people living ordinary, healthy and safe lives make a difference in exploited victim’s lives?

Unlikely Heroes steps in to lead the nation in abolishing the modern slavery. They’re not just ordinary people, though. They are truly contemporary heroes who are on the ground rescuing children and women from captivity, and from being bought and sold into sexual slavery. These heroes provide shelter to those who have been stripped of their families, homes and bright futures. Above all, Unlikely Heroes spreads awareness and training through education to thousands of people.

Erica Greve founded the organization and has traveled abroad to third world countries, offering personal aid to women and children. Her team of highly educated individuals, including a survivor of sexual slavery and public speaker, builds strength in numbers of devoted advocates.

It is an honor to feature Unlikely Heroes in LA YOGA Magazine. I will be learning more about activities they do for rehabilitation, and if yoga is among them.

For my next post, I will be telling you about my trip to Los Angeles this Saturday as a guest for a training at a juvenile hall. Speakers such as survivor, D’Lita Miller, and founder of UpRising Yoga, Jill Ippolito, will be there talking about yoga offered to incarcerated youth and survivors of sexual exploitation. Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading!

P.S- for more information on Unlikely Heroes, visit: http://unlikelyheroes.com.

Interviewing a Survivor

Journal No. 10

Yesterday was the first time I had ever interviewed a victim of human trafficking and prostitution. The recorded conversation entailed the memory of her abusive childhood, trauma and recovery. It was incredible hearing about her leadership and advocacy work. Not so easy hearing about her past, especially when her youngest daughter became a victim as well. But since I’m covering this issue in the magazine and I’m also currently in between classes and unable to construct a beautifully written post, I’ll be sure to catch you all up on the details from our talk very soon.

Until then, I hope you’ve had a chance to read the introduction to my first book, Openbook: The First Generation!

“Slavery has never been abolished from America’s way of thinking.”

-Nina Simone

A Yoga Therapist Perspective

Journal No. 5

I want to see through the eyes of a yoga therapist. I’m still trying to grasp the relationship between a yoga therapist and victim of sexual slavery. Imagine if yoga therapy was an actual program implemented into a safe-house. Would the therapist treat each woman individually? As a whole? What would be most effective? I remember my yoga teacher trainer told me he worked with troubled teenagers in a group setting while they were in prison. I think a yoga therapist could do the same for women in a safe-house. If they are given a free and inviting space to talk to other women about their experiences, women can begin to understand themselves and feel safer, more comfortable around each other and become a support system.

To do that, I started looking into the editorials written by professional yoga therapists who have been trained and certified through the International Association of Yoga Therapists (IAYT). I found an editorial written by Grace Bullock, editor in chief of a 2013 IAYT issue who wrote: “Indra Devi, a renowned ambassador of yoga, contended that yoga is an art and science of living.”

A blend of art and science is such a beautiful way to describe how yoga therapy can heal women. After looking into the psychological benefits of yoga therapy, I’m interested now in understanding how anatomy, psychology and spirituality intertwine. More importantly, how does a yoga therapist deal with these layers at once? How does a yoga therapist determine the “right” diagnosis?

Looking back on my notes from the Loyola Marymount University conference, I learned from Dr. Amy Wheeler that there are five Pancamaya layers that a therapist considers during treatment: physical, prana (or breath), psychological, personality, emotion; the deepest layer. In order for a yoga therapist to determine a diagnosis, he or she listens to the client’s story and establishes a connection through empathy. The professional is simply present without judgement or expectation; completely different than problem solving or trying to find a quick fix.

For a yoga therapist who works with a human trafficking victim, she detaches herself from becoming deeply impacted by the victim’s injuries. Also, she needs to keep in mind that not all clients may be suited for her, or she may not be the best fit for the client.

The job of a yoga therapist takes an immense amount of patience for both parties. Given that there are seven chakras, Dr. Wheeler estimates that it takes around two-three years to balance and realign the chakras. An enormous shift occurs in the body, mind and spirit during this process. In Sanskrit, we call the habits that create symptoms Samskaras. For a woman who has been sexually abused, her yoga therapist would identify and bring attention to her anxiety, depression, thoughts of suicide, intense nightmares, feelings of alertness, etc.

The yoga therapist suggests that the client perform an Upayam, or spiritual practice. Examples of this could be humming a mantra or chanting, pranayama which are breathing techniques, going through a particular asana (a series of poses), Dravya (oil application) or Yajna (a sacred ceremony). Once the client has been given a spiritual practice, she will journal her experiences and see how they impact her. If she doesn’t experience any changes, the yoga therapist could offer trying something else. The healing process may be all trial and error, depending on the person.

I would argue that yoga therapy is one of the best forms of medication. It may not work for everyone, but it’s certainly worth trying. Yoga therapists can even have the victim draw or paint a Yantra which is creating her own version of this geometric design for self-reflection and revelation:

For those who are still trying to understand the difference between human trafficking and prostitution: Click here to watch a Human Trafficking Video I created. (If you have trouble seeing it, feel free to leave me a comment and I’ll send it to you) Human trafficking and prostitution mean the same thing. As you watch the video, you begin to understand the challenges both a yoga therapist and victim of sexual slavery face together.

Thanks for reading!

“A jug fills drop by drop.” -Buddha

Yoga Therapy and Psychology

Journal No. 4

In December 2012, I was working as a barista at Starbucks in downtown Riverside, California, when we were robbed at gunpoint. Luckily, no one was severely hurt, minus the neck soreness I had after the gunman hit the back of my head with his weapon. The criminal was caught about a month later and sent to jail. Starbucks provided me with their idea of psychiatric treatment by bringing in a counseling expert and scheduling me to talk to her in the very store the robbery took place. What kind of treatment is THAT?! The manager clearly wanted me to get back to work as soon as possible.

Corporate provided me with private counseling outside of the business, but I felt speaking to another person who knew nothing about my personal history or life experiences beyond my files was contradictory to therapeutic; I felt more stressed by visiting the psychiatrist and psychologist. Dealing with rude administrative assistants who cared more about getting through their shift than helping the people they served also added to the anxiety. I don’t want to vent too much, but after feeling exhausted from the lack of true therapy, I wanted to move on from the incident and try to forget about it in order to function. Dance became my therapy. Room to Dance, owned by April MacLean and Julie Simon, became a place of sanctuary for me. A place to express my emotion in a healthy way to finish school, find another job and grow as an independent young woman.

But the psychological trauma impacted me more than I realized. Unexpected anxiety didn’t “bubble up” until 2014 when I was sitting in an English classroom discussing the ways trauma affects the subconscious mind in Toni Morrison’s Sula. (One of my favorite authors, by the way). Nobody else knew my story. Nobody else was aware that my palms started to sweat as the professor wrote on the board. Students continued delivering their thoughts on trauma while I fought the urge to cry. I looked at the clock, seeing that we still had twenty minutes left and it was all I could do to keep my butt planted. You can do this. Just get through this and you’ll be fine, I thought. I somehow managed to maintain composure until I got into my car, and allowed myself a few minutes to drain the tears I held back, before driving home.

My point for telling you this story is to show the unexpected responses of psychological trauma. No matter the cause or severity, a victim of assault may not even know the damage done to him or her until years later.

When researching victims of sexual abuse, I want to know how practicing yoga regularly affects the mind. One thing that most all victims have are cases of PTSD. A psychology PhD and dear yogi friend of mine, Dr. Arezou Ghane, provided me an interesting study: “Javnbakht and colleagues (2009) examined a group of Iranian women living with clinical anxiety and depression and found that, compared to a control group, women who participated in a yoga intervention reported fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression.” I can say from experience after practicing yoga consistently since the robbery and having mild symptoms of PTSD, my levels of anxiety have lowered. Learning to steady and control my breathing helped to ease the post-traumatic stress, especially when I found myself returning to other Starbucks’ as a customer and realized how nervous I felt. I learned helpful breathing techniques from Dr. Amy Wheeler, and I think in the construction of a yoga therapy program, breath work is critical.

But how can yoga be therapeutic to victims with PTSD? Dr. Ghane found that “yoga practice can be a sort of listening device, teaching people how to tune into their physical and emotional reactions. Often, survivors of trauma find themselves reacting to present contexts from the perspective of past traumatic events (see Van Der Kolk, 2006). Yoga and other mindfulness-based interventions help to cultivate an ability to attend to the present moment.” What makes yoga a form of therapy is not only being able to calm your breathing rhythm, but calm your mind. For female victims of sexual abuse and domestic violence, being able to intentionally detach from the past for even a moment is healing. It’s a mini mental vacation. Practicing yoga more over time could extend that vacation into higher psychological function and development.

One of the coolest things I’ve learned from Dr. Ghane is that more research must be done to truly understand how female victims of sexual abuse go through a healing process with yoga therapy. Knowing how new this area of study is right now is exciting:

Perhaps the most relevant study on this subject is an unpublished study by Jennifer West (2011). West conducted a 10-week hatha yoga intervention, examining the benefits of this practice for women living with complex post-traumatic stress disorder.  Among a list of benefits, participants who completed this intervention reported an increased sense of self-worth and acceptance, empowerment, and connection to others.

I will be discussing my current research with the editor of LA YOGA and outline my article for the March edition. I plan on discussing this issue with more scholars, dive into other reading, and connect with safe houses for female victims of human trafficking to see if they would consider hiring yoga therapists if they don’t already.

As always, thanks for reading!

I Had to Learn How to Breathe.

Journal No. 3

Since it’s the first week back to school, my schedule has been completely rearranged.  I was taking 7 units, but realized that I need to register full-time in order to receive full financial aid. Now I’m at 15 units meaning my social life and time to dance has dropped severely. Nevertheless, I cannot express how ecstatic I am to be apart of the editors of The Pacific Review, The Student Literary Journal. That was a class I happened to register in for more credit; lo and behold, it’s exactly the type of work I want to do to learn more about journalism and magazine publishing!

On top of the massive schedule change, I am a teaching assistant for Professor Ramirez’s English 111 World Literature course which holds 135 students. My job, yesterday, was to account for every student present in class and create a seating chart. Now that I’m done with the seating chart, I’m finally able to move forward and tell you about the research I’m catching up on for my LA YOGA Magazine internship.

I am still in the process of narrowing my research focus between domestic violence, human trafficking and sexual abuse. All three are different subjects, but they are similar in a way that women are treated as ‘less than’ or ‘unequal’ by a dominating, controlling male gender. And it seems like sexual abuse is the over-arching idea. So far, I have found useful articles covering all basis’:

1. “Hope to Heal: Yoga Helps Abused Women Reclaim Warrior Within” by Eva Smith, PhD

2. “Woman Who Escaped Her Sex Trafficking Captors Becomes Advocate for Victims,” by Robbie Couch

3. “Office of Ombuds Services & Gender Equity” at Cal State University, San Bernardino

After reading these articles, I want to know how yoga helps victims of sexual assault and trafficking. How is it therapeutic? I found an answer in the first article:

A Texas native, Tonini, then 26, discovered yoga as a means of recovery from a violent relationship. “I was in a terrible relationship where eventually he went to jail,” she says. “Through the process of all the court appearances, I discovered the practice of yoga and its healing power to make me whole again. I was so numb, I had completely checked out. I had to learn how to breathe. I had no concept how I was holding in every aspect of my life including breathing. Yoga was my lifeline.”

Breathing is a huge part of yoga. It’s not all about the poses and moving perfectly from Warrior I to Warrior II. What matters is your breath. It makes sense that this is empowering within itself for female trafficking victims, because the abuse caused these women to lose control over their bodies and breathing. Not many other services provide this unique way of healing (that I know of).

I also want to play devil’s advocate. Could yoga bring back that trauma and cause unwanted memories to resurface? In my yoga training, I’ve learned that hip-opening poses like Pigeon, for instance, bring about unexpected emotions. Or what if the victim goes through the whole class thinking, How the hell is this supposed to help me? This is pointless. Then what? These are questions I hope to answer and find out more through further research.

I will be getting in contact with an author through Dr. Wheeler as well as the director of the Cal State San Bernardino Title IX office unit, Cristina Martin. A dear yogi friend of mine who’s a PhD in psychology is also helping me with questions I have about the neurological functions that occur during a yoga practice.

Thanks for reading!

Stay tuned.

Journal No. 2: Yoga Therapy and the Endocrine System

Sunday, January 11th, 2014

I was invited by Dr. Amy Wheeler, a previous professor and current mentor of mine, to attend a class on Yoga Therapy and the Endocrine System at Loyola Marymount University in Marina Del Rey. I left my house in Riverside early this morning to make sure I had enough time to find my way and get situated. I ended up arriving early (I’m seeing a trend, here…). Sitting on a bench in front of the room, I decided to work on my latest short story while I waited for other students to enter the classroom. When others started walking in, I entered and chose a seat close to the front of the room. The class started on time.

The room was completely full of yogis, yoga teachers, medical students, nurses, and scholars ranging from ages 20 to 60. I was impressed to even see a few students bring their yoga mats to class. Sitting there in my jeans and jacket, I forgot to ask Dr. Wheeler if we were actually going to do the Asanas (yoga postures). Good thing it was mostly a lecture class! The professor introduced me to the class, putting her palms together in front of her heart in a prayer gesture and bowing forward to me as a way of giving thanks for my presence. Thinking back on it now, I should have returned the gesture, but I simply smiled, nodded my head and said “Thank you.”

Looking at my notes from the class, I should have brought extra paper. I used one sheet to write down notes and thoughts to myself, filling up nearly every blank space. After hearing her lecture and other students’ comments, I realized how incredible it was to simply sit there and absorb information. Dr. Wheeler covered many Sanskrit terms that I really need to brush up on. She connected the Endocrine system to the Chakras, energy centers of the body, and how Western and Eastern traditions ultimately mean the same thing. If the Endocrine system and Chakras are in alignment and functioning in unison, the person can heal just about any disease in their body, mind and spirit. There is much more that this class covered, and I only stayed for half of it!

Looking forward to researching more this week! I just don’t quite know where to go from here, but at least I have a few questions about psychology in terms of yoga therapy.

“All I have learned, I have learned from books.” -Abraham Lincoln.

Identity Through Research

I hate the idea of publishing jibber-jabber about my daily musings without a purpose or sense of focus. I need an intention, a problem and a purpose. I’ve decided that my posts will be more about the work I do, the people I meet, discussions I have, new things I see, foreign experiences, etc.

This quarter is my last at Cal State University, San Bernardino as an undergraduate. To gain some journalism and editing experience, I have registered for an internship with Editor-in-Chief of LA YOGA Magazine, Felicia Tomasko. I will work on reaching out to a specific group of women who have been victims of human trafficking in the Inland Empire. Right now, I’m focusing on sexual abuse and domestic violence as a launching pad, but eventually extending my research into the human trafficking problem. Why? Because it still shocks me that slavery is still an issue, especially right in my area.

Stick around for my journal entries as my research and journalism encounters unfold.

Thanks for reading!